February 3rd 2014

(on grandpa's passing)

I don't know what to say.

There's a lot. There's mournful sorrow, yes, shock, reverence, peace, gratitude but more than anything else, and overwhelming love. Looking back I can clearly see Heavenly Father's hand in it all... How I got to talk with him at Christmas and how the last things I remember him telling me were, "We love you" and "We're proud of you" as well as how he was grateful that I sent pictures and that he recognized a word I said in Russian... a word I didn't remember saying. :) ..How as I studied the Plan of Salvation I got a strong impression, even a voice saying, you're going to neeeed this. I got the call from president on saturday at noon after studies and before personal studies I had an interesting experience. I was carrying my morning tea from the kitchen and before I could set it on my study table it slipped from my fingers and fell, boiling water pouring all over my legs and falling to the ground. My right thigh was a bit burned and as I cleaned it up, got a new cup and sat down to the scriptures I thought. Why did that happen? It was just out of no where. Then I thought of a moment I had with Phalon when we were walking to the gym together, laughing and then all of the sudden her water bottle just dropped to the ground and cracked open. After she picked it up with a frown I said, "Well, one minute you have a water bottle, ... and the next you don't!" That might not sound poetic or significant and you might be wondering "what do fallen beverages have to do with grandpa's passing?" It's just that after that happened on saturday I knelt down and thanked God, having a little realization of how much we are completely out of control. How what we have can at any point be taken away and all we're left with is a burned spot on your leg that aches. 

And then also Heavenly Father was so aware and merciful to me that he put me with Sister Scott, whose grandmother passed away about a month ago. She knew exactly what I was going through and it was crucial to have her there with me. 

And he gave me Balakova, and when I say Balakova, I mean he gave me angels. I fasted this past sunday in mourning (I read a while back in the bible dictionary that fasting is also used as a form of mourning. I found that really interesting and thought I'd try it. I didn't know I would have an opportunity so quickly. It was very appropriate and felt really right to fast in that way.) As we sat in sacrament meeting I thought/prayed, Lord I can't be with my family right now, please help me to feel them. Then Sister Fedotova (the woman you met when we skyped) took my hand and held it tight for the rest of the meeting as I just wept. She was the only member that knew what happened and she also had a dear friend pass this week, so we together held on to each other. Then later I received a blessing from my district leader (who insisted) at a members home. She too, held on tight to my hand and brought me close. Thing is, she didn't know. 

I have felt an overwhelming amount of love from the branch here which has been a precious experience and also from grandpa. President asked to know a bit about him and really all I could think of to say was that he loved me. It seemed kind of silly to say just that as a description of my grandfather's life, but really that's all he did. There have been so many memories of him running through my mind and I feel him near. My heart also goes out to grandma and you all at home. I love you so much and I truly do know, I know that we will be a family forever. 

Sorry I'm writing a bit late because we have transfers....I'm staying in Balakova! for probably 3 more months because I'm training again. whoop whoop. But my trainee is stuck in America due to some changes is visa policies. SO I'm with sister sigman again for the time being. 

Thanks for all your love and prayers & I know that I'm sending them your way too!

Sister Johnson

January 13th 2014

I really don't know what to say this week.

It's like when you don't write in your journal for a few months and you just don't know where to begin or what's really important to say.

We're teaching a woman named Svetlana. She's eating up the Book of Mormon and came to church. Crazy thing is that she lives like two buildings down from us!! How did she not know we exsisted before now?? The Lord really does direct everyone and knows when it's their turn to meet us, whether they accept it or not.

This saturday we have a baptism scheduled for a couple in the elder's area that left the church years ago and have returned.

Last tuesday was Russian Christmas and we had a big party at the branch! It was so much fun! :) 

I've learned a lot in the past couple weeks about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I can't remember another time in my life how clearly I could see faith, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring working in my life in such distinction. As I continue humbling myself the Lord keeps teaching me about His gospel, which has enabled me to experience a deeper conversion and conviction. This has really effected how I find, teach and work within the branch. I want everyone to understand more about the what the Gospel means and feel it working in their lives because I feel it changing me! This is the true Spirit of missionary work.

Question: Ben can start his papers soon right??

Love you all! Have a great week!!!! :)

Sister Johnson

Also, the Russians here think it's really funny that ya'll have colder weather than us. Everything is melting!!! But they promise that feburary and march will be cold. We'll see. I'm good with either but I'd rather mother nature just pick a season!

December 30th 2013

Happy New Year! 

Christmas was fantastic and it was so precious to talk to you all! I really treasured that time and it kinda restored and refreshed me to head into the last third of my mission. Afterward I just felt so completed and ready. I have a feeling the long stretch is over and it's all going to go super fast from here on out. So I'm going to kick it into an even higher gear and wear out every minute of it! As dad said, this work really does bring me the greatest joy!! & it's fun! :) I hope I don't emphasis too much on the hard parts of the mission. It really is a ton of good times and laughter! In fact, I frequently ask for a joke from my companion or from members and in our district meeting it's always written into our district leaders agenda to have a daily joke. It's important not to take life too seriously cause that just makes hard things harder. Also, it's easier to serve those around you when a smile is on your face and in your heart. Any emotion is contagious, but especially happiness.

After our skyping session we headed out to Saratov for a special Christmas zone conference which = regular conference+ delicious Christmas dinner made by Sister Schwab personally+ the First Presidency Christmas broadcast! It was pretty great! Focused all on the Savior and the same old concecrated missionary jazz this mission's super hot about. THIS mission is teaching me how to keep my temple covenants. Yes, I may be far from the temple and yeah, it's been a while since I've been through a session but here the temple is being internalized inside of me. One of those quality versus quantity things. I wish the quantity was up with with out quality, quantity means a lot less. 

We have seen some progress in our area. Since that one new investigator on my birthday we have found 7 more. Pretty much a miracle. And we had my first lesson with someone from the street since I was in Samara this past week. Also, in the elders area a couple who had their names removed from the church have expressed a desire to get baptized and came to church yesterday. 

Things are about to get crazy in Balakova! :) 

Oh and remember Dachney?? My beloved Dachney? You would be pleased to hear that Tamara, our only investigator there and mother of my favorite member was baptized on Saturday, December 28, 2013!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so elated, sad I can't be there but my good friend Elder Wall promised me pictures. :) 

Hard work and faithfullness really does reap blessings, even when you don't see them. That's why we must always have faith in God and His promises. That's something I must admit I have doubted from time to time in my hardest moments, but you know, it really is true. And how much hope can we find in that?

I wanted to tell you more about the fun I've had talking with people on the street but I'll just keep it short and say that it's been the week of philisophical men. One of which was in Saratov. We got to work in the sisters area in the middle of the city. Everyone was being ridiculously nice to us and then this guy says "hey, tell me something." I kinda rolled my eyes, thinking 'I know this type. They don't really want to listen.' But he actually did want to listen and it turned out I made a good friend! :) Sasha, who knows english, has traveled all around europe & chatted with me about self perfection/progression, evolution, and eventually, with skill of conversation navigation, the Restoration. He's the typical beefy russian with a surfer/hippie mentality and childlike heart. We also ended up looking for a lost hairless dog that he worried about getting out of the cold... oh the adventures!! 

Okay so now I'm forfeiting time to write personal letters to explain the package a bit more, I don't feel like I got the chance. I did write little notes on more things to explain but from in the hassle of sending it, they got lost. (the postal worker ended up emptying and refilling the box multiple times... don't wanna talk about it. ;) I really do hope you enjoyed it. It was the best I could do in order to get everyone in the family a little something. & the chips were a last mintute thing to fill the rest of the box in a light weight, cheep, tasty way. The extra sock and stuff can go to anyone who wants it, and each grandma should get one of the scarves and one of the hanky things. You are free to swith socks or whatever if you want. & I plan on getting you guys other things before I go. But I dont know what you want and i don't want to spend money on something you don't want. SO each of you needs to think of something. I will send a list of options later if you cant think of something now.

Love youuuuuuu!!!!!!!!1

Sister Johnson

December 23, 2013

Hey! Christmas is coming! It's Christmas eve eve, that is, on this side of the globe. You are all still enjoying the last few minutes of your sabbath. Thanks to my companions two Christmas packages full of dollar-store decorations and festivities and a few hours of glueing on sparkles after planning, our apartment is fully festive and ready for the holidays!! We may even pick up a little yolka (Christmas tree/pine tree) from one of the many dealers on the streets of Balakova. Yesterday as I ate boiled water for tea I watched a young couple pull their tree along on a wooden sled with metal runners in the snow with their little son trailing along. It was the quaintest, classic winter scene. 

We're still on for 9:30ish on your Christmas eve. :) I will be at Sveta's house using the same computer she uses to skype her muslim man friend in Franch ;) she's so funny, you'll love her.

As a little Christmas present I have been informed that Tamara Golybev is still on date for baptism this coming saturday!!! Too bad I won't be in Dachney to see it but I'll convince Elder Wall to get me some pictures. 

There's really not a whole lot other than that to report on this week... OH! we got our General Conference Liahonas!!!!!!!!!!! You know I may sound silly but it's kinda a big deal! that thing is priceless. Imagine not hearing the gospel in your native tongue for a year. It's not the same. It is the same, but it's not. We have lots of scripture study in our own language, but I really miss that weekly nourishment at church. So General Conference is just that more precious. At least that's my theory. & I laughed to myself as I read the opening talk by President Monson when he rejoiced in how  because of technology "we don't have to wait months for the mail" to receive Conference! Wrong! Okay, maybe I'm being a whiner. It in all reality, really came at the right time for me. All of the talks have just been so intimately applicable to me and to Balakova. It's strengthened my relationship with Heavenly Father to remember how aware of me He is. & it also strengthened my testimony of modern prophets. How amazing is it that they receive revelation for me in my remote and personal circumstance! and for us all!

Yep, that's all I got today. Sorry. 

Oh, and we have a mini missionary in Balakova now. Elder Myers went home to get surgery and so they pulled in a young man from Saratov to serve until he returns. He literally got the call, dropped everything and left that same day. What a jaw-dropping example. Members in Russia know how to sacrifice. He also is a new member of less than a year and is the ward mission leader in their branch of 60 in Saratov with 6 missionaries. I'm not sure what that branch is going to do without him. & he's going to miss the holidays.

I'll SEE YOU in 2 days!!!!!!

love & holiday greetings!!! 

Sister Johnson

ps.  I have realized that I feel very deeply, especially feelings of love and loyalty and a bit of nervousness with that deep attachment with the fear that it's not reciprocated. That is exactly where I am with Russians, and specifically with Balakova. I love them so much. Not like a fluffy, happy kind of love but a love that's rooted so deeply within that it drives you, almost becomes obsessive, and fiercely loyal.

December 16th 2013

It's been another good week although we were in Saratov (Yay, Saratov!!!) for an exchange so we weren't able to be in our area. Exchanges are always a great opportunity for us to learn from our great examples & friends--Sister Clyde and Hancock, and to get boosted up for this new cycle. We set a lot of good, specific cycle goals to give us vision, motivation and direction to work towards.
There are many obstacles that I have confronted recently especially. It's funny. It makes me laugh because I see how desperate Satan is getting. And he doesn't realize that every temptation he puts in front of me only gives me the chance to overcome it and become even stronger. That's not going without saying that I haven't struggled. At one point yesterday I was about to call President because I felt that stuck. And it feels like no matter what I do I keep hitting emotional walls of just not knowing if I can do it any longer, not knowing if I have the strength to keep going, to go out the door once more. But as I held the phone I said a little prayer and heard a comforting voice say, yes, you can. All I needed to do is take that step forward, to open my mouth and everything would be okay. In fact everything is fantastic. That night we knocked on the door of the most precious, prepared soul and taught him the Restoration. And that's the best joy there is. Honestly, it's my substitute for a temple experience, that's how sacred. I am so blessed. We have been so blessed. Three nights this week we have been let in while knocking. (maybe because of the cold?? :) ) It's an almost Christmas miracle! :)

Christmas is coming! I will be able to skype at 9.30 pm your time on Christmas eve. I hope that's convenient for you! I would earlier but my comps family is in Texas and they are two hours later than you... so looks like we're going second. Who will all be there? everyone. You can also invite the grandparents if they want to.

Winter in Russia is like a storybook fairy tale! Parents and grandparents in fur coats and hats pulling puffy children on old school wood and metal sleds, children having snowball fights and making snow men, icicles, hot cocoa and tea... it's just amazing! :)

That's all for today since I'm sending pictures!! :)

I just want to say that I love my Savior. We received the December Liahona this week and I took time to admire the painting on the cover. The innocent baby Jesus with His beautiful mother Mary gazing down at His tiny hand with such soft, preciously pure baby skin. I wonder if she knows that one day those that hand would heal the sick and wounded, would calm seas and eventually be pierced through with a nail, holding her Son to the cross. I never really understood why people's first reaction when they meet the Savior is to fall at his feet and bathe His feet with tears. Wouldn't you just want to hug Him, to look into His eyes and to talk with Him? But now I understand and just the thought of Him, of His sacrifice, seizes my whole self and makes me want to weep. And I wept as I read the article by Elder Porter. It was so beautiful. I invite you all to read it. Also, the talk by Elder Holland is basically what he spoke to us about when I was at the MTC. Exciting stuff! :)

Love you all soooooooooo much! more than hot cocoa with marshmallows.... and that's a lot... ;)

Sister Johnson


I usually wait until Sunday evening to type my weekly letter so that I can have the benefit of the full week before I write. I am currently in Ulyanovsk and have been here for two days. Before I left, I printed out numerous examples of your miracles which I wanted to share and unfortunately, they are still sitting safely on my desk in Samara! So, please know that there were amazing miracles, as always, which occurred in our mission, but I will be unable to include them in this letter. That may make next week's letter a little longer, but that will be great! We need to all be so grateful for the wonderful miracles that the Lord has blessed us with and will continue to bless our mission with as we are worthy of them.

Several of you have asked about calls to parents on Christmas day. As you know, the Handbook says that such calls should be kept to 30-40 minutes. As a mission, our calls this year will be 40 minutes long. Please show your obedience with exactness to the Handbook by strictly keeping that rule.

For those of you who have parents in the U.S., there is an 11 hour time difference (Mountain Standard Time). Therefore, if you want to talk to them on their Christmas morning, you will need to call on our Christmas evening. If you want to talk to them on their Christmas evening, you will need to call on our morning of December 26th. For those of you with parents in other countries, you will need to call when it is most convenient for you and for them. However, many of you will be involved in the Saratov Christmas Zone Conference on the 26th, so plan accordingly. Most of you will be making calls from members' homes, so please be sensitive and respectful of their time and needs. We are not authorized to make calls outside of the regular "awake hours" set forth in Preach my Gospel.

I would suggest that you let your families know in either this week's or next week's email when you will be calling so that they are expecting your call and don't waste time gathering family members after you have called. If parents are divorced, please call me about how we would suggest your time be divided. If you have a sibling on a mission in another part of the world and you desire to call him or her, please call me so that we can discuss the rules applicable to that. Make this a great event that is not a distraction to the work, but rather a blessing and an uplifting event for both you and your family. They have sacrificed much to have you on your mission, so let them know how much you appreciate them. Let them know about your love for them and the Savior, and the great privilege it is to be doing His work.

We will be having our Christmas zone conferences on December 24th (Toliatti and Samara) and 26th (Saratov). These will be sacred and special events, and we are looking forward to seeing all of you at those conferences. Please come to those conferences with a prayerful heart and an open mind so that the Lord will bless you and all of us with a wonderful experience.

Last week, I spoke briefly about the Lord's clear direction that we need to work harder as a mission. Thank you so much for the great support and commitment that so many of you have expressed about that in this week's letters. We will talk about this in more detail in our zone conferences, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences about this important principle. Please be prayerfully considering what we can each do to consistently work harder. I know that great blessings await us as we do so.

Allow me to share a profound observation from one of you this past week:

"I've been thinking a lot in the last couple of days about Faith and Love and Obedience and Work. It seems to me like the first two prepare us for the last two. It's not a coincidence that they are in that order. Our ultimate sacrifice is obedience and work. We have to literally put 100% of all we have in--that's true work and true obedience. So FLOW seems like it prepares us to make 'as great a sacrifice as did Abraham.' It finally clicked for me, and I understand it. Then I was thinking about how you said that if every missionary did the things on the last page of PMG, it would be a sacrifice sufficient for the Lord. I read through those--and recommitted to do my best in the new area, new branch, and with my companion to do every one of those 22 items."

We will talk much more about the principle of consecration in the zone conferences, but I end with this statement by Elder Neal A. Maxwell:

"'It was all made possible by the Savior's splendid submissiveness. He did voluntarily what He was not forced to do . . . 'Yea, even so he shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father.' (Mosiah 15:7). Jesus was totally, perfectly, and fully consecrated. Being 'swallowed up' means being totally enveloped--without question, protest, reservation, or resentment. It is 'all the way,' not halfway. Choosing such spiritual submission is the highest act of deliberate, individual will . . . furthermore, when we are 'swallowed up' in His will we will also know what it is like to be 'swallowed up in the joy of Christ' (Alma 31:38)."

Sisters and Elders, may we each become fully consecrated missionaries, working hard and allowing our will to be "swallowed up in the will of the Father." What amazing blessings, including being "swallowed up in the joy of Christ," await us as we do so! You are all wonderful servants of the Lord, and you will be blessed as you exercise faith in Christ, love, obey with exactness, and work with unwearyingness.

We love you all and pray for you.
President and Sister Schwab

Decmeber 10th 2013

God loves me. He gave me the best mission birthday ever. :) 

It started out fraught with frustration in a hot kitchen while I half burned and spilled the lemon bars mom sent me in my christmas package all over the oven. (They worked out in the end &were super delicious by the way... well the middle non-burned part:) ) Then we had weekly planning set to the background of a constant fall of light snow with random spurts of huge heavy flakes displayed outside our window. (First snow!!! that sticked!) Then we had a chocolate cake we grabbed from the store nearby with a candle that sings a super high pitched, annoyingly funny rendition of "happy birthday" and my dear Sister Sveta called with a long stream of birthday wishes (Russians can go on for minutes of wishing health, happiness, love, fulfilled dreams, riches, great posterity.. etc, etc, etc.) It was amazing. Sveta is such an amazing woman. She's so sick.. some sort of condition with her stomach which makes her unable to eat very much and she has to take lots of medication, but she still comes out with us, loves us, and remembered my birthday. :) That evening we were to work with Sister Kazak. Her feet are hurt somehow so it hurts to walk, but she was determined to "take her turn with the missionaries." I love her example, the faith and zeal but I felt pressured to have a meeting set up for the evening so that she wouldn't have to walk in the cold for three hours. Thing is we didn't have anyone to meet with. So she's calling us, and our branch mission leader is calling us asking us what kind of plans we have and we've got nothing, having tried our hardest. Then she calls us back a bit later and she says, "I've got someone who will let us come over, my sister-in-law. But she said we can only stay for a bit." I'll make the story shorter and just say that it was the most glorious, Spirit-guided, love filled Restoration lesson I have had the opportunity to teach on my mission. It was wonderful. Such a sacred time. And although there are a few things I can think of that we could have done better, it was pretty much by the book and by the Spirit. Just perfect, and I know that it was all because of the faith of Brother and Sister Kazak who have tirelessly tried to share the gospel with her and invited her to come to church and read the Book of Mormon. We were just privileged to be there when she finally open her doors to the missionaries for the first time. And she liked us. :) Sister Kazak said many times and was very excited that Natalia (her sister-in-law) liked us. haha :) And Natalia accepted our invitation to be baptized when she knows it is true, which means she's open! and invited us back over to teach her the Plan of Salvation. My no new investigator streak of 4 months finally ended in the best way.

There are many other things to say.... Ah! The weather is great, we have lots of snow but it's not too cold. :) bad timing for the card though because I planned on buying new boots today and have run out of personal money.... umm I'll figure something out. :) My comp and I are so excited for Christmas!!! Sister Scott had a little shrinky dink christmas tree that we made little ornaments for. it was so fun! :)

Love you & talk to you soon! 

Also, transfer calls came and I'll be in Balakova for 2 more months. A|& I will skype

December 2nd 2013

Thanks for the birthday wishes :) it should be a good one. There's a member that helped us last night who has the same birthday so we'll probably do something special for her too:) Sounds like Thanksgiving was fun! We had a thanksgiving activity on saturday and it was pretty successful and fun!

So all that happened in the split was 2 ward right? The College placers just left and that's all who was moved right? I'm sure that would be hard. Who's the college place bishop? 

I can't watch the video since I'm not supposed to use any other site except email. Thanks though! :)

Say hey to G-ma G for me! 

Love you! Sorry I did more individual emails this week so I didn't have time to write a big one. 

Have a great week!