A young veteran makes friends with an old veteran. The young veteran falls in love with the old veteran's granddaughter who works at a recording studio. One night, after the band had finished recording the last song of the album the young veteran makes a scene by knocking out the drummer, who he felt was making moves on his fiancé, the granddaughter. Later, this is the conversation the old veteran and the young veteran have around an open fire.
YV: So, that guy's not going to press charges.
OY: Oh, there you go, that's a good thing.
YV: Yeah, I guess, I mean, it doesn't change the fact that Amber (granddaughter) still saw me loose it on him, you know. I just couldn't take it, it was just like every time I came around he was there taunting me, there baiting me, you know. And then they're standing there like they just created a miracle because they've recorded some song, like it's the most important thing in the world. That kid has no idea what's important. You know, what's really important.
OV: Yeah. Yeah, I remember when I got back. It was always funny to me how people got all twisted up about stuff that didn't matter. It wasn't important... well, well you know, what happened was important to Amber.
YV: Yeah, I mean that's the worst part of it. I let her down, and I don't know, maybe her mom's right, maybe I'm not good enough for her. I... *shakes head*
OV: Well, Amber's her baby. There's never going to be anybody that's good enough to marry her baby.
YV: What about you? What do you think?
OV: I think you guys made a decision to get married and I think that's a good thing. And I think you're trying, and that's the most important thing.
YV: Yeah, I'm trying so hard. ...and that's the thing, as much as I'm trying here, it makes me think, just screw it! You know, screw this life! And then I go back...
OV: Wait a minute, wait, hold it, hold it. What are you talking about? Are you talking about...?
YV: No, no. No, I'm saying screw this civilian life... this, this... trying to do this.
*pause*
You know, I hated Afghanistan. You know, I hated it. But at least there everything made sense, you know, like everything. Everything there, like, mattered, you know, it's important. And then it's like, I can't get my mind off of that place, I can't disconnect from that place. It's like I can't, I can't shake it. I just feel out of sync here still.
OV: Boy, you're going to have to decide which world you belong in. It's, ah, it's hard.
(Parenthood, S5 E10)
http://www.nbc.com/parenthood/episode-guide/season-5/all-that%E2%80%99s-left-is-the-hugging/510
Later we learn which world the young veteran chose. He chose to reenlist.
Sitting in my sad cocoon of blankets with my laptop, chips and chocolate in arm's reach, I felt first grateful, grateful that finally, someone had put into words my situation, exactly. Second, I felt a pang jealously, jealously that he could go back. I couldn't reenlist, I couldn't go back.
So then, what to do? What do you do in a world where nothing makes sense and where nothing matters? For a long time, I did nothing. Relationships were strained. Loved ones thought I was home when really I was a completely changed person who was only partially there.
But slowly things got better, like they always, always, always do. Adjusting has been quite the tedious process. It's like untying a serious of knots, missionary knots. Yes, I can be alone now, untie. I can watch TV, untie. I can hug men, untie. Hold babies, untie. Wear pants, untie. Early morning studies, untie. Wait, no, retie. Some knots were loose, some so tight that it hurt my hands and I had to use my teeth. Some knots I didn't even know existed. And through all the awkward, painful, and amazing moments (like riding a bike again) my friends and family were always right there, talking and walking me through it.
What motivates me is the chance, not to go back, but to stay in the fight. The war was not just there but it's here too! Truly, I can still be a missionary... in this weird, unfamiliar, non-missionary way. I can still be an active duty disciple of Christ. I'm so grateful for Him and give Him glory for every single triumph, every miracle, every breathe He gives me in this new life. I can't wait to see what's in store because, with faith in Him, it's going to be... miraculous.
YV: So, that guy's not going to press charges.
OY: Oh, there you go, that's a good thing.
YV: Yeah, I guess, I mean, it doesn't change the fact that Amber (granddaughter) still saw me loose it on him, you know. I just couldn't take it, it was just like every time I came around he was there taunting me, there baiting me, you know. And then they're standing there like they just created a miracle because they've recorded some song, like it's the most important thing in the world. That kid has no idea what's important. You know, what's really important.
OV: Yeah. Yeah, I remember when I got back. It was always funny to me how people got all twisted up about stuff that didn't matter. It wasn't important... well, well you know, what happened was important to Amber.
YV: Yeah, I mean that's the worst part of it. I let her down, and I don't know, maybe her mom's right, maybe I'm not good enough for her. I... *shakes head*
OV: Well, Amber's her baby. There's never going to be anybody that's good enough to marry her baby.
YV: What about you? What do you think?
OV: I think you guys made a decision to get married and I think that's a good thing. And I think you're trying, and that's the most important thing.
YV: Yeah, I'm trying so hard. ...and that's the thing, as much as I'm trying here, it makes me think, just screw it! You know, screw this life! And then I go back...
OV: Wait a minute, wait, hold it, hold it. What are you talking about? Are you talking about...?
YV: No, no. No, I'm saying screw this civilian life... this, this... trying to do this.
*pause*
You know, I hated Afghanistan. You know, I hated it. But at least there everything made sense, you know, like everything. Everything there, like, mattered, you know, it's important. And then it's like, I can't get my mind off of that place, I can't disconnect from that place. It's like I can't, I can't shake it. I just feel out of sync here still.
OV: Boy, you're going to have to decide which world you belong in. It's, ah, it's hard.
(Parenthood, S5 E10)
http://www.nbc.com/parenthood/episode-guide/season-5/all-that%E2%80%99s-left-is-the-hugging/510
Later we learn which world the young veteran chose. He chose to reenlist.
Sitting in my sad cocoon of blankets with my laptop, chips and chocolate in arm's reach, I felt first grateful, grateful that finally, someone had put into words my situation, exactly. Second, I felt a pang jealously, jealously that he could go back. I couldn't reenlist, I couldn't go back.
So then, what to do? What do you do in a world where nothing makes sense and where nothing matters? For a long time, I did nothing. Relationships were strained. Loved ones thought I was home when really I was a completely changed person who was only partially there.
But slowly things got better, like they always, always, always do. Adjusting has been quite the tedious process. It's like untying a serious of knots, missionary knots. Yes, I can be alone now, untie. I can watch TV, untie. I can hug men, untie. Hold babies, untie. Wear pants, untie. Early morning studies, untie. Wait, no, retie. Some knots were loose, some so tight that it hurt my hands and I had to use my teeth. Some knots I didn't even know existed. And through all the awkward, painful, and amazing moments (like riding a bike again) my friends and family were always right there, talking and walking me through it.
What motivates me is the chance, not to go back, but to stay in the fight. The war was not just there but it's here too! Truly, I can still be a missionary... in this weird, unfamiliar, non-missionary way. I can still be an active duty disciple of Christ. I'm so grateful for Him and give Him glory for every single triumph, every miracle, every breathe He gives me in this new life. I can't wait to see what's in store because, with faith in Him, it's going to be... miraculous.
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